The Battle Of Blogmore

Just thought I'd say that I've now made it possible for me to access this blog by more of my Google users, so I can easier blog than before. That's quite handy. Yeah.

Domainaiting

Edit: This was an old post I had drafted. It was just lying here, so I posted it. Enjoy!

I'm considering making my own website soon. Probably going to use Google Pages or what it's called. But I think it would be cool, fun, and perhaps informative for someone. It would probably have a lot about music on it. The problem is, I'm not sure if I'm ready to make a website. Not sure if I'd have any material to post there straight away, and it's so unprofessional to have a page that's "a work in progress" if you've actually bought the domain.

Can't fall asleep

I'm so tired, but I can't fall asleep. I try to relax, but it just won't do. I'm hot, then suddenly cold. I can't fall asleep, but I can't keep staying awake. It's impossible. Thinking about too many things. Feeling too many things. I take a lot of things out on myself. I have done so tonight. I tried writing down some of my thoughts, but...yeah. I don't know. I guess it's pretty brutal for others to read, but to me, that was actually quite weak. I didn't cry most of the time I was typing. But no one will get to see it. It's personal. Private. Too much swearing too. Calling myself a "fucking dirtbag" and such. But I just can't fall asleep...

Minutes?! More like days...

I've just sat down on the train. Actually, that's a lie. It's been almost ten minutes since I did so. It feels like ages since I felt your face inside my hands. It may only be "some" minutes ago, but it feels oh so much longer. I'm addicted. I can't get enough. I have to be with you. I have to be close to you. I have to. There's nothing I can do but that.

It's the only time I feel really happy anymore as well. I can only feel like I'm worth SOMETHING then. Other times all I feel is that I'm a worthless piece of shit that can't even get a job. But you...you make me feel like I am worth something. You make me believe in myself. I can get a job.

But now the time keeps drifting longer and longer from the lovely time when we were together. It does not feel like minutes. Not even hours. It feels like days. Days of sorrow and pain. It hurts so deeply in my heart not to be with you now. I miss you. I always will. And THAT'S REALLY why I say I NEED TO move to Oslo. As soon as possible. Perhaps even earlier. I can't take not living in Oslo anymore. I need to. And I need you to live with me and take care of me then. No matter if you pay half of the rent or not. I don't care. Just live with me. Take care of me and let me take care of you.

"Help!" I'm on a train with "The Beatles"

I like writing on the train. It's so easy to write when you don't have many choices but to look outside and really LISTEN to your music. I've heard these songs thousands of times before. It's a classic though. "The Beatles" by The Beatles. Also known simply as "The White Album" for it's cover art. I always prefer calling it "The Beatles", though. Not sure what The Beatles themselves called/calls it.

I keep listening to Beatles lately. Usually two albums. Either "Help!", an album I recently really "discovered" and now find to be perfect (thank you "I've Just Seen A Face" for making me give "Help!" another chance), and "Abbey Road", the first album I ever tore through by The Beatles. First listened to it before I cared about "old" music. Back in the start of 10th grade, I believe. We were making a newspaper on 1969. I made a music review of "Abbey Road". All I remember from it, was that I quite liked "Maxwell Silver Hammer". Didn't own it on CD back then. Listened to a copy I had burrowed from my library.

Serious me

I've been searching for jobs today. That's been my mission today. Find a job. It's my job everyday, but I do believe what I've done today will result in at least an interview. There were several people which were positive and seemed to like the thought of working with me.

My previous co-workers said I seem so serious. They said I should play on that. I'm so serious, people will buy anything from you. So far, that seems like a lot of bullshit. No one's bought anything from me yet. And I was a salesman, remember?

But perhaps now. I mean, it's easier to sell yourself as an employee to a company, than it is to sell an alarm to a private person who hasn't already got one. And if you do have one, you don't need another one, do you?

"Use of baggage trolleys is at passenger's own risk"

"Use of baggage trolleys is at passenger's own risk". I read this message here now. I'm at a train station. Oslo Central Station, if you must know. And this little sign confuses me a bit. What can go wrong? What could possibly happen that makes it say that it "is at passenger's own risk"?

It also says that the trolley is not to leave Oslo Central Station. That's fine. I can agree to that message. But at own risk? What the hell? I really don't get that one.

There's no fun waiting around to be a millionaire

The title is taken from an AC/DC song. I'm not exactly their biggest fan, and think they are overrated most of the time, but it can be some great music as well. Might've paraphrased it.

I felt the title suited this post because I pretty much think that's what I'm doing lately. Today I'm waiting to get a bit better, because I've felt rubbish all morning. Woke up, had a massive headache, got to the bathroom, almost threw up, my nose was running and it was just...not cool. Fell asleep again, woke up without a headache (or at least nearly not noticeable compared to my first one today), but still feeling rubbish, now with no running nose: it's all stuck in there, and nauseous now as well. I think I might be getting better.

Which leads us to what it is I am going to do when I do get well today. I'm going to go to Oslo, use a lot of energy there to try to get someone to want to hire me. This means: going around to different stores and such and give out my resume attached with an application. Hopefully, I'll soon get a job. I really do want one, and I really do want to move out of here. That sure would be great.

She was here

Once she was here. She was right here. Here where I am now. She was actually here. This was where I found her. Here. On blogspot. That's soon three years ago. I can't believe the time that has just flown by. I feel so old in a way. The way time has started flying. But perhaps it's not my age. Perhaps it's my level of happiness. After all, I wasn't much happy before this.

Time rarely flew back then. Back then, most of the time I was in pain. I was in pain. Just the bus ride home from school took what would now feel like an hour. Often it was filled with this pain in my heart. I could almost feel like I was dying on that bus ride. I could sit there. Try to avoid being seen by anyone I knew. At least being spoken to. Hopefully I'd be left alone. I did like to sit next to my friend though, but there were so many people I was trying to avoid.

Then I moved on to a new school. High school. High school was better. It felt better. Until it didn't. Suddenly I really realized it was more like hell than what I had experienced earlier. Everything was just dark. Everything felt like a void. Time stood still. I couldn't really do anything. I was going to die. I felt it. I knew it. I planned it. I was expecting it.

Then she came into my life. Wow! What a feeling! Time was going fast! Every single night just flew by while talking to her. I started falling. I couldn't stop. If I had wanted to. No, if I had to, I still couldn't stop it. I was falling. I was falling faster, harder and more than I had ever fallen before. I couldn't stop. But I didn't really want to stop either.

I realized it more and more. Hoping she felt a bit for me as well. She was just the girl for me. She was what I had been looking for and much much more than I could know I was looking for, because I didn't know there was such a girl. But there was. There still is. And she's still the only girl for me. I can't stop falling for her. Luckily, she didn't let me fall into the biggest hole in the world. Some kind of hell hole or something. No. She caught me.

Thank you Emma, for catching me then and every day ever since <3
Thank you Emma, for making my time fly by <3
Thank you Emma, for making me smile <3
Thank you Emma, for saving me <3

Two post-Beatles Beatles songs

I just now discovered that there are two post-Beatles Beatles songs! If understanding what I'm saying here's a bit difficult, let me clarify: The Beatles split up in 1970, several members worked together, but never all four together again. I thought. But I was wrong! There are at least two songs I didn't know of! "Real Love" and "Free As A Bird"! Both produced by Electric Light Orchestra man Jeff Lynne.


The Beatles - Real Love


The Beatles - Free As A Bird


They might've cheated a bit, at least with "Free As A Bird", but it's still cool to know that they did make more songs together. It brings me hope for even more material to surface and yet another "Beatles reunion". (Though two members are dead, there should be a way to arrange that to happen.)

Blogger's new interface

So apparently, blogger now has a new interface! And man, is it a cool and fresh new interface! Would love it if there was a blogger app as well...

If I should fall from grace with God...
I'm not even Christian.

Weekend

You cannot BELIEVE how good it feels to have an entire weekend of no work now! It feels so good, I can't describe it! On top of it being "just weekend", it's also a weekend full of being with my girlfriend, and that, my dear friends, is better than anything else right now. I sure do enjoy a weekend with her. They seem so meaningless without her.

At this current moment, it's Saturday, 12.03 PM and I'm sitting on a train on my way to her. It'll be a good day. I just know it! Despite the rain, it really will be a good day. Going to see a movie today, which is always lovely to do with her. To be honest, I rarely ever go to see a movie at some cinema without her.

Work

The following post was written yesterday, about 26-27 hours ago. Things might've changed, but I decided to post it anyway. Enjoy!:

So, I've been working a lot lately. It's not really a good job for me. Been in it for two and a half week now. Haven't made a single dime. I'm not a good salesman. I mean, I believe in my product, I deeply do, but really...I can't fucking make a single sale!

I want to work somewhere else. Some place new. Not new as in "have no fucking clue where that office is", but as in new environment. New job. Really. I'm much better at guidance, than I am at convincing. I only convince myself any good, and I'm even bad at that.

Why I haven't been blogging? Well...I know I said I'd probably post a lot now, but really, I don't seem to have the time and/or the energy for it lately. I work late, I get home even later, I'm exhausted every single day, and I wake up feeling worse every day.

Hopefully, this time in a week, I'll be positioned in a new job. I frankly don't see myself still in this one, at least. That much is sure. It's hard getting up every day to get knocked down and end up a bit of a joke to everyone else.