I've just sat down on the train. Actually, that's a lie. It's been almost ten minutes since I did so. It feels like ages since I felt your face inside my hands. It may only be "some" minutes ago, but it feels oh so much longer. I'm addicted. I can't get enough. I have to be with you. I have to be close to you. I have to. There's nothing I can do but that.
It's the only time I feel really happy anymore as well. I can only feel like I'm worth SOMETHING then. Other times all I feel is that I'm a worthless piece of shit that can't even get a job. But you...you make me feel like I am worth something. You make me believe in myself. I can get a job.
But now the time keeps drifting longer and longer from the lovely time when we were together. It does not feel like minutes. Not even hours. It feels like days. Days of sorrow and pain. It hurts so deeply in my heart not to be with you now. I miss you. I always will. And THAT'S REALLY why I say I NEED TO move to Oslo. As soon as possible. Perhaps even earlier. I can't take not living in Oslo anymore. I need to. And I need you to live with me and take care of me then. No matter if you pay half of the rent or not. I don't care. Just live with me. Take care of me and let me take care of you.
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